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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24224701">To Finally Be One</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeloxVoid/pseuds/VeloxVoid'>VeloxVoid</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Day 1: Longing, Declarations Of Love, Dimidue Week (Fire Emblem), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, First Love, Fluff and Angst, Forbidden Love, Gentle Kissing, Hurt/Comfort, Longing, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Prompt Fic, Softness</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 18:01:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,521</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24224701</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeloxVoid/pseuds/VeloxVoid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Dedue has longed for Dimitri for years, but it is a relationship that can never be. It is forbidden by all laws of society - and by Dedue's own morals - but it does not stop him from desiring the King's love.</p><p>Dimitri longs for Dedue just as much. It is in one of his darkest moments, however, that their pent-up love unfolds.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dimidue - Relationship, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd &amp; Dedue Molinaro, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/Dedue Molinaro</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>63</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Dimidue Week 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>To Finally Be One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There Dimitri stood.</p><p>As usual. Again.</p><p>In the Cathedral, over the wreckage, with his neck craned downwards and his hands at his sides. They were empty hands. Limp, with loose fingers that did not even hold a weapon - did not even hold Areadbhar, firm and unyielding in his grip like it once had been those many moons ago.</p><p>It was as though he'd given up. Instead of fighting, he chose to stand, lifeless, for hours. His legs must have grown sore hours ago - days ago - for he would stand in one spot unendingly as if it were his duty.</p><p>But, it was not his duty. Dimitri did not have to stand, and brood, and mutter to whatever plagued him for days on end. He simply did. Whatever was happening inside of him must have been torturous. Endless. For, whenever anybody spoke to him, he would not reply; he would scarcely acknowledge their presence. Perhaps a grunt, or a growl, or a slight nod would be given as Mercedes prompted him away for dinner. Yet, even then, he still wouldn't eat.</p><p>Dedue supposed he himself was no better, though; he'd taken to doing the same. He stood in the entrance of the cathedral, staring, breathing slowly, and lightly, trying to make as little noise as possible. He almost felt as though he was watching a wild animal - a flighty, rare thing that might be scared off at the slightest provocation.</p><p>It took Dedue back to how he'd felt those five years ago. Those five years ago, in Dimitri's bed chambers, after the man had taken away after a scathing meeting with Fhirdiad officials. Back then, the young man had scarcely been a King - had stood in the midst of being accused of regicide - but already he was beginning to look worse.</p><p>War, woes, and worry. They'd each scarred Dimitri as physically as they had mentally. He had only been back in Fhirdiad for a couple of days - the professor missing for just over a week - and yet he had let his hair become ragged and his face go unshaven. He hadn't changed out of his clothes for days, still wearing the academy uniform he'd been garbed in when Garreg Mach had fallen. In the moment - mere days before being branded a traitor - Dimitri had still had both of his eyes. Even so, they had grown dull - they had lost their beautiful blue; they seemed dim, and lifeless.</p><p>The young King had taken to staring out of the window in his bed chambers in each moment he wasn't facing some sort or royal higher-up. In one such moment, Dedue had wandered in, closing the door tightly behind him. </p><p>He had approached, but Dimitri had seemed deaf to his entrance. Dedue had padded through the room as softly as his boots had allowed, feeling for the first time like he was approaching that skittish prey animal - fearing that he would frighten it. He had joined Dimitri at the window, and the King had looked up.</p><p>"Dedue," he'd said, with a voice as hoarse as if he'd swallowed nails.</p><p>"Your Highness," Dedue had replied, his words laced with worry. "You have grown quiet."</p><p>A bitter, but soft smile had enveloped the thin lips of Faerghus' rightful King. "I have much to think about."</p><p>Dedue had spoken without realising: "I am worried for you--" But had realised the weight of his words. "<em>We</em>, the Kingdom, are worried for you."</p><p>Dimitri's smile had grown wider, and softer, and that gaze that lacked lustre had travelled to the floor. "You can tell me if you're worried for me, Dedue."</p><p>It was inescapable. Dedue <em> was </em> worried about him. A mere week ago, Dimitri had been another man: crazed by fury, and fuelled by bloodlust. A month ago, he had been almost cheery. His usual self, putting on a brave face.</p><p>But, now, Dimitri was empty. It seemed not even the frenzy of war, nor the riling accusations of murder, could breach the wall he'd built around himself: the wall of ice that seemed as impenetrable as Fhirdiad's reinforcements, and as cold as the icicles that hung from them.</p><p>"I am worried for you," Dedue admitted. "Worried <em> about </em> you."</p><p>The next words that left Dimitri's lips were a whisper - scarcely louder than the breath of the breeze that sighed against the window's panes. "You always have been."</p><p>It sent a chill down Dedue's spine. His own lips parted to speak, but before he could say a word, Dimitri's pale hands reached out and delicately took Dedue's own. They looked so frail in comparison: a coat of snow upon an unyielding brick wall that could be blown away by even the gentlest of breezes. The slim fingers interlocked with Dedue's own, and the grasp that he felt was unnervingly strong, as if grasping on for dear life. And the flat, lifeless eyes had seemed to brighten as Dimitri looked up, into the soft and concerned face of his vassal. </p><p>"I wish we could leave," Dimitri whispered. "I wish we could flee to somewhere far away and never look back."</p><p>Dedue - usually so stoic - had felt his heart skip a beat. Those words mimicked so many a wishful daydream of Dedue's - matched the one thing he desired more than anything. But, he could not allow himself to believe that Dimitri meant them in the same way Dedue always had. "I'm afraid we cannot," he heard himself say. </p><p>"Of course not," the King replied, a hint of dismay in his tone. "But, just imagine. No responsibilities. No war. Just us." And he squeezed Dedue's fingers tighter.</p><p>
  <em> Just us. </em>
</p><p><em> I could not fathom anything more perfect, </em> Dedue had wanted so desperately to respond. "That would be preferable," he'd said instead. </p><p>But, Dimitri stepped closer still, narrowing the gap between them to mere inches. "You need not play coy," he said. "We both know how we feel."</p><p>A soft breath - something between an exhale and a sigh - left Dedue's nose as his heart began to flutter. He had evidently not been subtle about his rising adoration. "I do, but it cannot be." For the King to be with somebody as lowly as Dedue - as weak of status, and from <em> Duscur </em> - was not possible. It was ridiculous enough that Dimitri wanted Dedue as a retainer, but for anything else would be downright absurd. </p><p>Dedue did not allow himself to believe that his King could ever want anything more.</p><p>"But, it <em> could</em>--"</p><p>"But, it shouldn't." Dedue's very chest grew taut at his words, and a sort of tightening sensation wrapped around his throat. He felt choked - his heart squeezed. It pained him, but he let go of Dimitri's hands. It was all he wanted. All he craved. All he longed for - to be with his King. But, he could not. "I am sorry," he said sincerely. "But, you have a war to win, Your Highness. A Kingdom - a country - to save. I will help you all I can - I will give my life for you - but I cannot distract you in these ways." </p><p>And Dimitri's eyes had faded once more. Back to their dullness. "Yes," he sounded so resigned - so pained. "I know." </p><p>The cathedral materialised before Dedue once more - the familiar scene of the present, with the destroyed cathedral all around him and the destroyed King at its centre. Dedue noticed that his throat had grown tight once more at the memory. </p><p>He took delicate steps across the room as he had so many times before - quiet and careful, just as they had been that one night in the bed chambers. Although now, he wore armour. The harsh ringing of metal upon stone was not quite as delicate as his soft shoes upon plush carpet. No - now, Dedue's footsteps were harsh. But they did not disturb the King even so.</p><p>"Your Highness." The vassal's voice was not as delicate as it once had been, either. He sounded frightened, and wounded. His velvet tones wavered and shook. He received no answer as he neared his King, and reached out a hand to touch the man's shoulder.</p><p>Dimitri's face was as still and sullen as ever. One eyebrow furrowed and one eyelid shut, the others obscured by his patch.</p><p>Dedue gave a soft sigh. "I… came to check on you."</p><p>That information was nothing new - Dedue did it every day, and he'd lost count of how many times it had been. The result was always the same: Dimitri would brood and mutter as if he hadn't heard, and shake away any attempts at consoling.</p><p>Although perhaps this time Dedue could hold his attention. His mind flicked continuously back to their conversation in the King's bedroom, and he drew a deep, shaky breath. "I wish we could escape."</p><p>Dimitri's ragged breath stopped. He blinked once, twice, and slowly, his head turned. </p><p>It perturbed Dedue - he felt almost as though he would be admonished under the gaze that now pierced him - but he continued. "I cannot shake the image of that moment in your bedchambers, all those years ago. And, how foolish I was to deny it." He was speaking from the heart - something he always tried so desperately not to do - but he could not stop. "When I became lost after the execution, I would torture myself every day with the memory. How foolish I was to have said no - to have spoiled such a precious moment. For then - and for now - it is all that I want."</p><p>"Dedue…" What was that? A whisper left Dimitri's throat in a hoarse, quiet noise, and for the first time in an age, he raised his head. He turned towards his vassal, pale skin smeared with dust and dirt. The good eye that could be seen beneath the hair that fell across his forehead was not its sad, lifeless colour anymore. It almost looked as though a sun were rising within, kissing the atmosphere and turning the murky blue to the bright colour of a midday sky. Dimitri's eye glowed - it shone. Passion swam within, but did not reach the lips that were pressed so tightly together.</p><p>It took Dedue's breath away even so. He pressed on. "If I had said yes, where would we be now?"</p><p>Slow, carefully-chosen words were spoken in response, in that deep and dulcet tone that somehow sounded so alluring despite its pain. "I suppose… we could be somewhere far away. Perhaps basking beneath a carefree sun. Somewhere better than here."</p><p>And Dedue continued. This was progress; Dimitri was talking - was concentrating on something other than his ghosts. "We could have shed our weapons, and our responsibilities. We could have changed our names, to become who we wanted to be instead of who we were born to be."</p><p>It was as if the icy barricades separating Dimitri from the world shattered. "You... changed your mind?" For a moment, the voice of the King sounded almost how it used to when he was a Prince: the slightest hint of hope lined it.</p><p>"Your Highness, I am tired of war," Dedue responded. His next words felt foolish the moment they left his lips. But it was a sentiment he'd held onto since the moment of the execution - one that caused bile to rise in his throat each time he recalled it. Denying Dimitri's wishes that night had been such a grave mistake. "We could have been together."</p><p>Those blonde eyelashes beat softly as they looked up into Dedue's face. "We still can."</p><p>Dedue's heart gave another leap, making him feel childish. Here he stood, before his King, confiding in him the deepest desires of his mind. He did not deserve to even be in Dimitri’s presence, let alone be entertaining such thoughts to him. "If only," he said.</p><p>And then, the shortest of chuckles rang throughout the cathedral. It bounced from each wall in a soft, bright tune, echoing like a song. It was beautiful, and it came from Dimitri's lips that had curled ever-so-slightly in the corners. Those lips had not smiled in months - perhaps years. "We can, Dedue."</p><p>And when the vassal’s lips parted in protest - the war was still raging, and Dimitri’s wounds were still fresh - the King stepped forward slightly, to close the physical gap between them in a way that reminded Dedue of five years ago.</p><p>“I know, I know,” he whispered, slipping his cold fingers around Dedue’s own. His gaze was trained downwards still, and he seemed… shy. Like a child. Still bitterly wounded, but with warmth seeming to heat the air around him in a way it had not done for years. “Right now, we should not. But… that does not stop me from desiring it.”</p><p>Dedue desired it too. His heart called out in longing - physically yearned for the King in ways that should never be thought about. “When you say… desire--?”</p><p>Dimitri angled his face upwards, and he pressed one cheek softly against Dedue’s own. It was cold, and the hair that fell across it tickled Dedue’s skin, but even so, heat flushed throughout his every vein. He’d only been this close to the King before in dreams; fingers interlaced, toes touching, with skin upon skin.</p><p>A fusty scent permeated the air around him, but the man from Duscur cared not. Dimitri’s nose nuzzled into the downy fuzz that Dedue had let grow around his jaw, before delicately coming around and brushing against Dedue’s own.</p><p>He could feel the King’s breath upon his skin, escaping through the slight part to his lips. The moment grew tense. Never before had they been so close, and never had Dedue’s heart beat so fast - not even in the midst of battle, nor at the face of execution. He had longed for this for so long - for years, since their childhood.</p><p>Dimitri’s lips pressed lightly against Dedue’s own, trembling. The motion was so fleeting and delicate - the terrified prey animal emerging once more from beneath the King’s hardened exterior. It should not have been happening, but it felt so <em> right</em>. And, as quick as it started, it had ended. Blonde eyelashes fluttered open once more, and one intensely-blue iris searched the vassal’s face...</p><p>... before their lips met again, slightly harder this time, and braver. Dedue - against his every will - found himself returning the gesture. The passion that he had kept pent up for all those years escaped into their kiss; his love, and adoration, and unabating admiration for this man unfolded, his fingers gently disentangling from Dimitri’s own to hold his chilly face.</p><p>This kiss was his first, but it felt so familiar. It was where he ought to be - connected to the King - and he could have stayed in the moment forever.</p><p>But, he broke it off. He pulled his lips from Dimitri’s own and rested their foreheads together. They both took a moment to breathe while Dedue’s mind reeled.</p><p>What he had wanted seemingly all his life. In his grasp.</p><p>And Dimitri’s hoarse voice spoke up once more. “When I say desire,” he said, finally answering Dedue’s question, “I mean I long for you. I long for <em> us</em>. To finally be one.”</p>
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